I had something wonderful happen today.
After the “I don’t know how to deal with this nastiness” that I wrote about yesterday, my co-worker made up for it in spades today. This co-worker is my polar opposite. He said “thank you for helping me.” It wasn’t gratitude, which makes me grit my teeth like I’ve chewed on tin foil. It was a genuine, heartfelt “thanks.” Because he knows how hard his time at work would be without the help. He didn’t exactly have the skills he needed and unless you are specifically in this particular office, someone outside of it wouldn’t know that.
I said thank you back. This person helped restore some of my faith in humanity. That there are people out there that DO care about their jobs. He is one of them. Even tho we are complete polar opposites. I see how he puts aside anything that he is doing to help- help any employee that comes through the door. Even if what he does is a colossal whatever. I like that about this person. We talk about what decisions and I show him easier, better, faster ways of getting the task done without causing more work for everyone involved. He gets frustrated, because he doesn’t see it at first. But he always listens. Applies most of what I show him. And he is having an easier time, each and every day. More time to get up and do other stuff and help others. He has to learn Excel. Which I am advanced at and he is just beginning. He said thanks for many things. Including how I write out instructions and how I do, do, do, then make him do, do do.
I think this is helping me step away from all that nastiness from before. It may be baby steps, but it’s part of why I said, thank you, back to him. Because he is open and so caring. It’s been a little teeth gritting, of my own, in this place, but most of the people I have had to assist in getting things back on track took offense at first, and have, slowly, come to understand that they aren’t being yelled at. That we are raising some awareness and helping everyone along the way. Some even come to joke with me about it, as annoying as it is. I can see there is an easing of tension. I like that, too. It’s what should have happened at the last place, but the people involved there had NO desire to stop running on the squeaky mouse wheel, refused to make decisions, made a lot of fuss over things that really didn’t need fussing about, made mountains out of nothing on a frequent, daily basis, and didn’t really appreciate anyone around them. I remember, more than once, being yelled at for saying “thank you for getting me that information.”
So, I think part of how I am going to deal with Ms. Know-It-All-Nasty-Who-Knew-Me-For-All-Of-15-Hours is to say thank you, correct my own behavior that may mirror hers, but not beat myself up. I’m allowed to have flaws and I’m allowed to be angry that I was dumped on so badly, being held to a higher standard no one else was and doing the work of 6 people while others got to just walk out of the office for the day whenever they felt like it. Yeah. I’m allowed to be pissed about that. And if Ms. K-blah-blah can’t see that, shouldering that burden on myself is just… stupid. Not saying it doesn’t hurt on some level or that I shouldn’t feel anything. I’m not a rock, after all.
I will just have to be more clear that patience, kindness, caring, and a willingness to help does NOT mean I am a doormat. If some third party, I should say fourth, since Blah-blah is already a 3rd party, listens to that garbage, well, I really don’t want to be around that person anyway.
It was very, very nice to have someone say “Thank you” today.
And I am halfway done with my sweater’s second sleeve…