Katrin Greene’s Smashed Potatoes 2019 12 18

I am so glad this movie about Mr. Rogers was made.

I remember making snarky, awful jokes about Mr. Rogers when I was a teen that I realize now weren’t all that funny.  More important, I remember watching Mr. Rogers as a child.

As I’ve gotten older, and see more despair, grief, frustration, politics, it’s things like this that get me through.

I’ve just come out of a rough working situation that annihilated a chunk of what I have been trying to build for a long time. I believe in kindness, which I very much doubt most of my recent coworkers would know. It’s incredibly hard for me to reconcile that not everyone believes in kindness or its power. What really turned it for me, at this place I worked, was an argument I had when I simply said, “Thank you.” I was told: “Don’t thank me. It’s my job and that is a waste of time.”

My own frustration with the situation that went on for far, far too long, was compounded by the unwillingness of people to understand what changes were happening and why, to help, even if it meant grabbing for their own patience and keeping things stable.  I wound up becoming just as negative and critical.  This place sucked the life out of me.  I know what was wanted.  We were 80% there.  But it had been an uphill battle the entire time.  There are “wolves” in the world and, even though I don’t tend to like that term,  we need to learn to deal with them.  Making everything soft isn’t always the most helpful.  And, yeah, I know this goes against some of what I’m saying.  I’m also saying, we don’t have to become rabid or constantly turning on one another.  Being patient and kind doesn’t mean I have to be a doormat or do what is wanted, taking on extra, just because someone else feels like being lazy.  I think this is why most people stop.

Another place I worked at, it was in a room full of very unhappy people, and I ended that contract as soon as possible.  Every one had their mouths on how stupid their children were, how awful their spouse was, how dumb the outside public was, the crowded parking lot.  Yeah.  It’s easier to tear something down or apart than to build it.

I may not believe in blowing sunshine up anyone’s backside, especially when they are being a royal whatever, but every person has beauty inside them.

There’s a lot of times I take things too seriously.  I do.  I know where it comes from and I’m not getting into that here.

At home, to cope with the world at large, my own feelings of helplessness, and feeling like most of the people around me think I am only here for their needs, I keep a few things in mind.  A good chunk of them, I learned from watching Mr. Rogers.

Differences aren’t there to be places of contention.  Point and counter-point harmony aren’t the same as melody.  They are all used in combination.

I did learn that one person can change their world, for the betterment of all, even though the opposite is the norm.

Random acts of kindness and “pay it forward” are two ways of bringing chaos to your own life, breaking out of stifling structure or emotional ruts.  Rules are good to have.  We need structure.  But too much will kill the spirit.

For me, it’s easier to turn off the news.  Turn the radio station away from those who spread negativity about our cold, blustery NY winters, instead of connecting what’s good about it.  Those choices are mine to make.

Seeing someone tired, walking through a store, who probably have just come off a rough shift, those are the people I look for.  Because I know how that feels.  If I see something I like, I say it.  Nice hair.  I like that shirt you have on.  Love the color of that streak of hair.  Beautiful scarf.  What funky boots.  Because you can find beauty and joy is the damndest of places.  I don’t care what race someone is, what culture they come from, if they are old or young.  I say it.

That kind of joy?  You have to look for it, in order to see it.  To become attracted to it.

I’ve learned to count those joys in the world and to tune out blackness and bleakness that there is nothing I can do about, because people would rather complain, just to have something to talk about.

I have a huge sock collection.  Funky, soft, fuzzy, warm, silly, weird, obscure, and slinky.

I watch cartoons.  I canceled cable because I don’t like reality TV.  Instead, I watch my old favorites, and collect those dvd’s.  Including things like the Muppets and Bugs Bunny and Mr. Rogers.

I stop listening to people who shout all the time.  It’s made me a calmer person.  I have more patience and I steer clear of those who don’t posess that quality.  I am happier because of it.

It’s going to take some time, getting all of this back, settled in my day-to-day, the way it used to be.  As I’m searching for work again, I know what to step away from now.  What to look for.  How to assess, because interviews aren’t just for the employer.

I’m going to go see this movie, A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, because I need some of that magic, that every day magic, back in my life, where it used to be.

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