ASH IS OUT! Who-hooo!
What an awesome day to celebrate.
Even more so because my princess kitty is starting to feel better, with her insulin injections. I am being tap-tap-tapped on the leg right at the moment.
While I am sad to see winter go, I am happy for my flowers starting to bloom. I was able to get outside in the cool air and begin weeding and early spring clean up. I have plans to till out my front yard this year, recondition the soil, and rip apart three bulb beds.
And today, I got sleep. Heavy, cleansing, healing sleep. Lots of it!
To top it off, I think I’ve finally resolved a personal problem that’s been bothering me for over a year. What to do about it. A couple of them, actually. Time for a new rule to be put in place. The itch to do more house downloading is hitting, so I will have plenty of time to think this one over, and I think it will be about no longer celebrating the anniversaries of anything. Just take each day as it comes and forget everything else, and if I remember something good, cool. If I remember or think something else, well, I have a hammock chair to swing in and some pretty cool, weird things to get into or a book to write.
I feel free. So free! Peace and quiet in the brain pan. It’s like someone shook my etch-a-sketch and I got a clean slate.
These decisions started for me ten years ago. Closer to twelve. And I used to get pissed and hurt about that. That I wasted my life and time.
But today, Ash is out. My third book. And it doesn’t matter how long it took me. I took that chance.
I can look back now and say- hey, you know, I’ve done some good and some fun in my life. I’m not dead and I need to start thinking of my life as life and not my daily obituary. I’ve had these thoughts before. It’s time to turn them around and add them into my other daily choices, such as playing room ball and putting my artwork on the walls and lighting candles over my tv set. To keep keeping things simple. To reflect. And if I want to spend the day sleeping, to go for it!
Celebrate in any way I feel like. ‘Cause I’m looking over in the corner right now, where my hammock chair is. I remember moving into this house and my first Christmas here. How I bought about the biggest tree I could afford and get my hands on, and that’s where I put it. I celebrated my freedom that way and I lost my way a few times. Tomorrow, I will be putting that tree back in the attic from this past holiday season, since it’s warm enough to get upstairs. I’ll be bringing down some other things to sell or get rid of or put on the walls and say: hey, this was cool. This was fun. I have my sewing room almost complete and I can start making those weird rugs I’ve always wanted. Make heavy, quilted curtains, full of rainbow koi for my middle room with it’s bay window, so I have something special to look at all winter.
Celebrate. Because it’s a gorgeous day, with my flowers blooming, ASH being out, and my heart’s finally clear. I have to go light some candles now and blow up some soup on the stove. Time for dinner. Beef and barley, with croutons, and a grilled cheese sandwich. How awesome is that?