My sister and I have been trading insults with each other for over 25 years. This morning was the first joke she’s played on me in a long time, so I thought I would celebrate that. It takes a bit of explaining. But this is what I saw in the dim light of pre-dawn:
It says: Cluk.
There’s been an ongoing debate in my house as to whether or not I can do the off-grid thing in the middle of the city where I live. Most I can’t. And I’m okay with that.
She wanted to buy a flame thrower to melt the snow off our sidewalk. Notice I said sidewalk. We don’t have a driveway. And our staircase is wood. I said no, because she said no to me turning a spare water heater left in our house from years ago into a still so I could learn the practicalities of making my own vodka. If I can’t have flame, neither can she. This is the reasoning anyway. (If you haven’t figured out that we’re not really serious here, you should.)
The other debate is about chickens. Chickens give eggs. Wonderful, tasty eggs. And I eat a lot of them. Especially with my food allergies. I live very close to downtown and the city says no chickens inside city limits. I’m actually okay with this, with a lot of problems owning a chicken can cause. My sister, on the other hand, I love to annoy. So I constantly “complain” about this ordnance. That I want a chicken.
She says- no, they smell.
My response: I have litter boxes anyway, so the smell wouldn’t bother me.
My sister: And make noise.
Me: I can deal with the noise.
My sister: And we don’t have any room.
Me: I can find the room. And besides, I’d love to make a chicken sweater. It would cut down on the noise.
So we have this debate over flame-throwers of one sort or another and about chickens. You see where the cluk is coming from… This is an ongoing thing that we’ve had for, oh… about 2 years. I have yet to answer where the “room” would be.
Yesterday, she invited me to play outside in the snow. Unfortunately, I wasn’t feeling so well and I was dealing with some issues in the house that needed somewhat constant attention. But I did go outside at one point. I thought she was making a snow sculpture of a chicken. Nope, she says. I guessed again- rabbit? Nope. I haven’t figured out what yet, but that’s okay. No one could figure out our snow dolphins a few years ago, either. I called them drunk dolphins. They were blurry around the edges.
So this is why at oh dark thirty this morning, I came out to find Cluk on my car.
HAVE AN AWESOME!