This morning at 0430, I was still awake, eating a grilled cheese, when I had that V8 moment. Why in the world would I want to be around people who stress me out when I’m seeking out fun and laughter?
If I dread being around someone who has the patience of a gnat with it’s ass on fire, even though I may love this person… WHY?
If I have to jump through that many hoops, that make me wind up feeling like I’m talking to a wall?
If all I get is grief from a third party for not putting up with the bull?
I’ve had those thoughts so many times over the years. What I decided when my long term relationship ended. Not to wait any more. Not to waste my life any more. Not to be pulled down like that any more. While I had to wait to heal, and I knew that, I was still seeking joy and fun.
And now? Now, I’ve woken up one morning and felt. Really felt. And I knew that that time in my life was over.
Fun and laughter all the way. And, I’m past saying fuck off to the headaches of recent days. I went to be last night still humming the Curly Shuffle, I have wonderful people I’m going to see today, an awesome drive where I get to see icicles and snow in the country, and I woke up this morning with two of my fur babies on either side and another playing the tapping game on my hand.